Misérable
by Suicidal Muffin-chan
Summary: Everything always ends better in movies. LeonxCloud, rated M. COMPLETE.
1. Kieru: to vanish

Yay, another story from Aasha-chan! (Soon, penname will be changed to suicidalxmuffin or something of the sort, so keep an eye out for me, ne?)

Allergy information: This chapter contains a little bit of OOC-ness, swearing, and Cloud musing about strange things (evil alien overlords, Columbine references, and such).

* * *

"Cloud, get your lazy ass out of bed! We're going to be late!" My younger brother yelled at me through my bedroom door. I groaned in protest, pulling the covers over my head. How much sleep did I get last night? Three hours? Or two?

I'm not sure how, but a few minutes later, Roxas had rolled me out of bed and persuaded me to get ready for school.

As I stepped outside of my cozy home, I was hit suddenly with the chilly autumn wind and shivered involuntarily. I forced myself to get in my car, with Roxas soon after slipping into the passenger seat.

* * *

"Hey, did you hear about the transfer student?"

"Yeah, they say he's HOT."

Two girls next to me fussed about the new student that we were getting. It was rather unusual for us to get them at this time of the year, but from what the teachers had said, he seemed to be a rather special case. Apparently, he lived with his older cousin or something of the sort, his parents having died when he was much younger. He had a younger brother, too-- I think he was in Roxas's year-- but no one had said very much about him; they were much too busy discussing the other. Leon Loire (1). He seemed to be an interesting person. Vaguely, I wondered if he'd be anything like any of our other transfers. I hoped not; they were all ignorant and dumb. I didn't think I could stomach yet another bastard going to our school. Morbidly, I wondered if it would be anything like Columbine should he happen to act like them.

At the slam of our homeroom door, I curiously looked up. Soon after I wished I hadn't, because this one simple gesture led to my obsession. Or perhaps it was what happened next, when the seemingly uninterested brunette met my gaze with his stormy gray eyes and suddenly seemed to hold a vast range of emotions, that triggered everything. Then again, it could have been how he quickly looked away, seating himself at the desk next to my own. Whatever it was that caused my infatuation, I wished it hadn't happened.

* * *

"I'm Leon." The brunette casually held out his hand, which I stared at incredulously.

"Cloud." I said after realizing that he didn't plan on backing down from my critical gaze, and shook his hand roughly. I wasn't quite sure what to make of him. Normally, people tended to veer away from me, and yet, it almost seemed as if he intended to befriend me.

A couple of giggling girls made their way over to us, one of them stopping in front of Leon with a bright red blush. Leon only raised an eyebrow, appearing as bored as he had when he entered our classroom.

"Could you at least make this quick? I'm sort of in a conversation right now." He commented icily. I stared at him curiously, trying to figure him out. He was one of the very few people I had difficulty reading. I could tell he hid behind a cold-hearted mask, but I wasn't sure when he was being himself or when he was pulling his façade. I couldn't tell what emotions swam in his steel eyes-- I was close to praising myself for even noticing the slight ones that were there-- and it frustrated me to no end. Leon certainly seemed to be an enigma.

One of the girls, whom I recognized as Rinoa Heartilly, scoffed, flicking her hair over her shoulder. She said something to which I paid no attention; I was too busy trying to figure out how she could manage to keep herself looking that ugly and fake. By the time she had walked away I had determined that she was an alien overlord and she was attempting to destroy the earth with her unfathomable ugliness, which I supposed was actually considered pretty on her native planet.

"Uh, Cloud?"

"Huh, what?" Leon was giving me a strange look. Maybe I should zone out less.

"You sort of zoned out and had this weird smirk on your face." Ah, so that's what I looked like when I wasn't paying any mind to what was going on around me. Roxas always said I looked funny when I thought about strange things, like evil alien overlords or something; I guess he was right, after all.

"Oh, sorry. That happens sometimes." I explained with a shrug.

"Okay then…" He said, giving me a look that plainly said he felt I was insane.

After a small moment of silence, he continued.

"What were you thinking about anyways?"

"… Just that Heartilly's an evil alien overlord attempting to overtake Earth with her inexplicable hideous looks."

"…"

"…"

"Have you ever been told you're crazy?"

"Aww, I knew you loved me."

* * *

Despite the fact that I had been deemed crazy, Leon managed to put up with me for the entire day. He was also the only person, other than my brother, that I could withstand for more than a couple hours. In fact, I was almost upset when school was over-- not quite, but almost-- because a part of me believed that the brunette wouldn't be there for very long. I prayed to the heavens that my intuition was, for once, wrong, and the enigmatic person with whom I was enamored wouldn't leave the school without warning. I wasn't sure how or why, but I felt that the school year was going to take a very bad turn.

* * *

I hope you enjoyed!!!

(1) I kept his father's last name, because I like it infinitely better.


	2. Korosu: to kill

I know this chapter looks really short... But I wanted it up today and this is all I have done so far, other than the ending. Actually, though, it doesn't have much dialogue, and, word-wise, it's longer than the last chapter. I've been really busy with Aarinfantasy (if you're on Aarin, look me up... I'm Akasha010) lately, so I haven't been able to write anything. Sorry!

Well, thanks to reviewers! Enjoy!!

Allergy information: This chapter contains shounen-ai (making out and dating) and implied abuse.

* * *

"Hey, Cloud." 

"Leon." I nodded in greeting, watching him shift towards the right. This would prove to be interesting, if my earlier observations were true. Ignore the fact that knowing this was slightly (okay, major) stalker-esque.

"So, uh, what are you doing this weekend?"

"So far, nothing." I said with a shrug. I casually leaned against his desk, crossing my arms habitually. "Why?"

"Well, um, do you want to go see a movie or something with me?"

"Well, I don't know…" I pretended to think about it for a second before something in my mind clicked. "Hey, wait, as a date?"

Leon fidgeted slightly in his seat, his change in position nearly unnoticeable. Nearly. Being in a strangely playful mood, I simply had to flirt with him a little.

I sat myself down on his lap sideways, crossing one leg over the other. Before I could continue, I was drawn into the most mind-blowing kiss one could ever experience. One of his hands was at the back of my head, pulling me closer, and the other one was wrapped tightly around my waist. I felt so weak, and I was glad that I wasn't standing, because if I had been, I surely would have collapsed.

I fisted my hands in his shirt, leaning into the kiss as much as physically possible. I opened my mouth eagerly when his tongue ran across the seam of my lips, moaning softly as he massaged his tongue against mine.

All too soon, it was over. My head felt light and the room seemed to be spinning. I wrapped my arms around Leon, who seemed to be the only tangible thing left on the planet. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I couldn't seem to catch my breath no matter how hard I tried. I was vaguely aware of the bell sounding, and my body moving into my seat of its own accord, as well as the incessantly loud chatter of everyone-- especially those who had witnessed the kiss.

Throughout the lesson, I couldn't concentrate. I cursed Leon, damning him for being so amazing and making me obsessed with him. And what was up with the way I felt after he kissed me? I'd never felt like that before, no matter who I had been with.

Being around him became addicting. Whenever he was around, I couldn't breathe properly, and my head started to spin. My legs would try to give in, and I'd have to either sit down or cling to him suddenly to keep from collapsing. I couldn't stand the way he made me feel; it was overwhelming, to put it lightly. It wasn't that it was a bad feeling, but I wasn't used to feeling so helpless and weak.

"Good morning." Leon said with a small smile, pulling me into a gentle hug. I breathed in deeply, savoring his scent, which was one of the many things about him that made me feel lightheaded. I clung to him, feeling my knees beginning to grow weak at the mere scent of him. It didn't help that he was holding me so closely, either. I vaguely wondered what doing anything sexual with him would be like if something so innocent made me feel this way, but I quickly dismissed the thought from my head as a blush began to spread across my face.

"Hey, are you alright?" He asked, pulling back to stare at me.

"Yeah." I choked out, feeling myself begin to become emotionally overwhelmed once again as I gazed into his eyes. They really were gorgeous. Unable to help myself, I leaned up towards him and kissed him as my eyelids fluttered shut.

I felt his hands cup the sides of my face as he began kissing me back in his gentle manner. He was always so gentle and careful with me, and it made my heart flutter.

I heard someone clear their throat, and pulled away whilst blushing. Leon's hands fell down to his sides as he turned to glare at the person who had interrupted. Timidly, I glanced up at the interrupter; it was my brother, Roxas.

"Dad's home." He said simply, before turning and quickly walking back to our house.

"Shit." I mumbled to myself, trying to ignore the concerned curiosity in Leon's eyes. "Leon, I have to go. I'm sorry." I pressed a short kiss to the corner of his mouth before walking briskly back to my house. I felt really bad for leaving him like that-- we'd had a date today, one that I had been looking forward to very much-- but if I didn't both Roxas and I would be in major trouble. It wasn't a big deal for Father to be mad at me, but I couldn't stand to let my little brother get hurt because I was being selfish.

I reluctantly returned to reality, and the problem I was facing now. Father was back…

* * *

"God, Cloud, what happened to you?" Leon's arms were wrapped tightly yet gently around me, and I could feel his lips lovingly kissing across my face... My cheeks, my forehead, my lips... 

Reluctantly, I broke away from the kiss. I had to do this... I didn't want to, but I couldn't risk anything-- especially Leon.

"I- Sorry for calling you out here so late." It was pretty late... Almost 1:30 in the morning (1:27, to be exact).

"Shh, stop apologizing… Who hurt you?"

I tried to pull away from him, tried to do anything to get him to stop fawning over me, but I suddenly found myself powerless. I blamed his never-ending concern for me, this time.

It felt like, no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get over this feeling around him. Whenever he wasn't nearby, I'd feel sad or restless, but when I was with him I was flooded with feelings of happiness and contentment.

"Please, Leon… I… I don't think I can do this anymore."

"What do you mean?" I could sense the mild fear in Leon's voice, and I really did feel horrible for what I was planning to do.

"I can't… I don't want to see you anymore." I weakly managed to separate myself from him, desperately fighting the tears that threatened to fall. I could see Leon's eyes beginning to tear, too, so I gathered as much strength as I could and began to walk away. "I'm sorry, love." I whispered to the wind as a tear began to fall.


	3. Sotto: softly

I was trying to make this chapter really long; I only got in 2156 words before I decided to end the chapter. Sorry.

I think it's a cute chapter. Sort of cliché, but whatever. My story; I'm allowed to be cliché.

Well, thanks for reading! (Oh, and reviews are love)

Allergy information: This chapter contains emo-ness, light BL (kissing, cuddling...) and swearing.

* * *

"Cloud, you have to go to school sometime." 

I was shrouded in my blankets, curled up on my side, and attempting to ignore my blond brother.

"No, I don't." I mumbled. I couldn't go back. I couldn't face him. I knew if I were to ever see him again, I wouldn't be able to restrain my feelings. For Leon's sake, that couldn't happen. I couldn't have him worrying about me again; it was pitiful the way he looked when he was worried. I hated doing that to him. I had used to think that he'd eventually worry himself sick over me; he was always fussing over me, after all.

"Leon.. Hasn't been himself since you left. The least you could do is let him know you're still alive." I merely grunted in response, with my back still facing him. "Everyone's really worried. Especially Aerith."

I let out a sigh. Aerith meant a lot to me, whether I showed it or not. I'd simply have to suffer.

"I'll be down in ten minutes."

* * *

"Loire, late again?" I picked my head up slightly, just enough to stare at Leon. He was never late. It just didn't happen. And 'again'? How often had he been late?

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry."

"He's been late everyday since you were absent." Aerith filled me in by whispering behind me. I was, needless to say, shocked. Had I really affected him that much? Surely it was a coincidence, right?

Leon took his seat next to me, and I found myself unable to remove my eyes from him, whereas he seemed to have no trouble not looking at me (as he hadn't spared me a second glance) which caused me to suppose that my earlier assumption about the coincidence was true. I tried my hardest to ignore the pain that thought brought with it. As sadistic as it was, I wanted him to be upset if he wasn't with me. It wasn't that I didn't want him happy-- I did-- but I wanted him to want to be with me. He had seemed really happy when we were together, but I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part.

Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep at my desk. Despite spending the past week or so in my bed, I hadn't slept that much. I'd been too busy thinking, which rendered me incapable of falling asleep.

I woke up when the bell rang, and students began filing out of class. Hurriedly, I threw my stuff together, and tried to find Leon.

"Leon!" Finally. He turned around, giving me a look that clearly said "what do you want?"

"We need to talk." Well, that's ironic. Normally people say that before they break up with someone, not before they're trying to win someone back. I don't think Leon noticed.

"Really?" Because I thought we were doing just fine not talking. I especially liked the part where you broke up with me and after calling me out in the middle of the night, then avoided me for two weeks."

"Well, that's sort of why I wanted to talk to you." I said, fidgeting. I hated this. I hated needing him. It didn't help that he was making this impossibly hard. You know how in movies, when someone screws up, the other person takes them back without question? Well, that's a lie.

"Please, Leon… I really do care about you." I mumbled, hoping he wouldn't make me say it again.

"After all this, you expect me to believe that?!?"

"Yes, I do! That is why I broke up with you!"

We were yelling now, and quite a few of our fellow students had stopped to openly stare.

Daringly, I leaned up and pressed my lips against his, my hand holding the back of his head. He halfheartedly pushed at my chest, but I didn't move. He was stronger than that; I knew that. And he knew I knew it. Once I was finally sick of the lack of oral response, I pulled away and backed off a little bit, so that there was about two feet of space between us.

"Please…" I was near tears now. "I'm sorry, okay?" I found myself suddenly unable to meet his eyes, and resorted to looking at the floor. Ew, was that gum?

The bell rang, but neither of us made to move.

I heard him sigh heavily so I looked up at him. He wasn't looking at me, either.

"Cloud, I…" He ran a hand through his hair and I waited. I was trying as hard as I could to be patient, but I wasn't ever very virtuous at all. Goddamn, why does he have to be so fucking sexy? "I can't." He bit his lip nervously, and I had to shove down a whimper as I watched him intently. Dirty tease.

It took my brain nearly an entire minute to process that he had even said anything, and another fifteen seconds to register his words. "Can't… What?" I wasn't sure if I wanted to know the answer or not, but I felt obliged to at least ask. Part of me hoped he'd avoid the question, but the other part of me was dying to know.

"I can't do this." He finally looked at me. "I liked you. I still like you. But-- it's just that…" He let out a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

I let out a sigh. I knew what he meant. He was scared-- scared I'd go and do something stupid to hurt him again. Well, we weren't exactly on good terms anymore, to begin with, so this went as well as someone could have possibly hoped.

"Okay," I replied reluctantly. He'd better be glad I loved him. Wait… Love? I loved him?

"You do know I'm not saying never, right?" I looked up at him hopefully. "Just, maybe we could be friends again first?" He was obviously unsure, but it was good enough for me. I had to resist the urge to jump him. This definitely went well. Some people would think it to have been horrible, but it was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me, and I wasn't about to anger whatever deity by being ungrateful for it.

He kissed my cheek and-- while it was meant as a friendly gesture-- I felt my face heat up involuntarily. Damn him. Him and that sexy smile he just showed me. Okay, Cloud, not helping your case here any.

"Hey," He said casually, leaning up against a wall. "Since we're already so late for class, you want to take the rest of the day off with me?"

I shrugged, but inside I was jumping for joy. Literally. I felt like my stomach hated me, and was trying to see how long it would take before I hurled.

"It's not like I have anything better to do."

He gave me a genuine smile-- it may have been soft, but it was the best I had ever gotten from him-- and began to lead me out of the high school.

After a couple minutes of walking I looked up at him. "Hey, Leon?"

"Mhm?"

"Where are we going?"

"Coffee shop."

"…You're obsessed."

"Am not."

"Yeah, you are. When we went out," I swallowed heavily, trying not to think about it too much. "That was your favorite place, remember?" I silently praised myself for keeping my voice steady. I'm good.

"Actually, this one's a different one."

"Eh? Really?"

"Yeah, I… Uh, it's closer to my house." Lie. He looked left. I decided not to call him on it, because I really didn't want to ruin this. It may have been awkward, but it was better than nothing.

We walked in silence until we reached the fabled Coffee Shop of Doom. Of course, that wasn't really its name. I'm just an idiot, and therefore dubbed it that. Leon happily dragged me in, and the strong scent of freshly ground coffee hit me. I took in a deep breath. I didn't really enjoy drinking coffee, but I loved the way it smelled; after all, Leon smelled like coffee. Coffee and leather and vanilla.

I sat down at a small table in the corner, waiting for Leon to get his coffee fix. He came back with a large cup of whatever his new favorite coffee was (probably some insanely caffeinated espresso or something) and two pastries, one of which he handed to me.

I gave him a smile and nibbled on it. I wasn't really hungry, but he had gotten it for me. I allowed myself this moment to daydream, staring at Leon without even noticing, despite the fact all my thoughts were on him.

He was so gorgeous. His hair was a little bit longer, and he had more difficulty keeping it out of his eyes. Instead of his usual leather ensemble, he was wearing tight black jeans and a white shirt with black stripes along it. Seriously, it wasn't like you could not stare openly at it. The shirt was tight-fitting, and you could almost see the outline of his toned muscles underneath it. It was at this point that I had to look away so as not to drool.

We had both finished our pastries, and he got up, motioning for me to follow, still sipping at his coffee.

"What do we do now?" I asked, catching up to him and slowing down to walk beside him. He shrugged, eyes trained on the sidewalk. Something was on his mind. "Leon, what's up?"

"I don't know-- this all just seems so… Surreal." He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "It's just that… Lately, everything's been going wrong. And now, all of a sudden, this? I'm just waiting for something to screw up again, I guess."

I frowned, taking in what he had said. It's true that nothing lately had been particularly great, but that didn't mean he had to go and be all pessimistic about everything.

"There's a movie called The Secret." I found myself saying. "The secret is that if you say something's going to happen, you pretty much make it happen, even unintentionally." I liked that movie. It was a good movie.

I tilted my head back to look up at the sky. It looked like it might rain. It was getting dark, despite the time being about noon, and the air had become a little bit chilly. I shivered as a particularly cold gust of wind blew by, and stuffed my hands into my pockets.

"Do you want to come over to my house for a little bit?" Leon asked. "It looks like it's going to rain."

"Well, thanks, Admiral Obvious."

"I always thought it was 'Captain Obvious'."

"Admiral's a higher rank," I explained, "And you deserve it."

He gave me a look of fake hurt, and I laughed, pushing him lightly.

"Anyways, do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Want to come over?"

"Uh, sure." I smiled to myself, watching the cars going by. "Not like I have anything better to do, since you dragged me out of school." I mumbled loudly enough that he could hear me. He rolled his eyes, neglecting to reply, and led me to his house.

Once we were inside the house, he motioned for me to sit down so I took a seat on the couch. I stared openly at him as he popped in a DVD and set it up before sitting next to me.

"What are we watching?"

"Dogma. You said you liked that movie. It's your favorite, right? I wanted to see it."

"Y… Yeah, it is." I was slightly shocked he had remembered. I'd only mentioned it once, and when I say mentioned, that's not an understatement.

Subtly, I moved closer to Leon with a shiver. It was really, really cold in his house. He didn't notice, I guess. How the fuck did he manage to not get hypothermia from living here? Then again, I do have poor blood circulation, so I'm more sensitive to temperature…

Fifteen minutes through the movie, I thought my body had frozen. I shivered again, and Leon noticed this time.

"Are you cold?"

"Yeah, just a little." I said with a weak smile.

"My mom keeps it really cold in here. I didn't think about it, sorry."

He moved closer to me and held his arms open, and I hesitantly cuddled up to him.

"Better?" He asked quietly. I cold feel his breath ghosting over my hair, and I shivered again, but not from the cold this time.

"Yeah. But… Is this okay?" I lifted my head to look up at him. He smiled softly back down at me.

"Sure, if it's you." Aw, that was sweet. Hey, wait, I thought he was the one against a more intimate relationship.

"Leon…?"

"Shh, just watch the movie."

I smiled and leaned back up against his chest.

"Okay." I whispered back.

* * *

Reviews are greatly appreciated! My eternal love goes to all my reviewers. (Mainly because this is on quite a few people's lists but I'm lucky to get 3 reviews a chapter. Hint hint.) 


	4. Mawaru: to turn around

Teehee. For some reason, I found this chapter very fun to write. It's sort of short, so forgive me. I'm working on the next one right now.

Allergy information: This chapter conatins more emo-ness, implied sexual relationships and swearing.

* * *

"Mmh…" I groaned as I opened my bleary eyes. My head was pounding and my neck felt like it wouldn't be able to move ever again. My surroundings didn't seem familiar at all. Where was I? I bolted upright abruptly, causing me to fall back down again in pain due to my head and neck. 

It was at this moment that Leon appeared at the doorway. He gave me a discreet but reassuring smile.

"You fell asleep," he said by way of explanation. "I didn't want to leave you on the couch because you looked sick, so I carried you up here." Wow, he carried me? He's so sweet. Bad Cloud; you're not supposed to think about that, or the way he makes your heart pound, or how he makes you dizzy, or the way you feel utterly and entirely and completely intoxicated around him… Okay, not helping.

"Th-Thanks." I mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. Goddamn him. I averted my eyes, staring at the wall to my left. It was a light gray.

"You have a fever." He added almost as an afterthought.

"Oh…"

I felt the edge of the bed (was I in his bed…?) dip, implying that he had seated himself on it, and I had to take deep breaths to steady my quickening heart beat. Him and his stupid sexiness…

However, because I was breathing so deeply, I could smell him better. I felt his scent washing over my senses, and I was dizzy again. He must have noticed my wooziness, because I could hear him asking me if I was alright. Everything seemed far-off, as if I weren't myself… Like some out-of-body experience, although I was sure I was very much inside my body. I felt his fingers ghost over my face, and I closed my eyes in an attempt to block out the spinning sensation I was feeling. It only made it worse.

The next thing I knew, Leon had me drinking a glass of water (on which I choked… Twice.). I was beginning to feel a little bit better, but everything was still slightly blurry and my heart was pounding painfully loud in my chest. Slowly, my surroundings began to fade out. I was terribly aware of Leon's body next to mine, his burning hot skin pressing against my own, but everything else became a darkening blur.

I woke to gentle fingers running through my hair. It felt really, really good. When the sensation stopped, I felt a small whimper escape from my throat, and I heard a low chuckle off to my left.

"Hey… You awake?"

"Yeah." I mumbled. I sat up, this time taking great care to not do so too quickly. "What time is it?"

He glanced at the clock.

"Almost four."

Reluctantly, I dragged myself from his bed and his comfortable presence.

"I should probably be going home." I explained.

He stood up as well. "I'll walk you."

"No, it's okay."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Okay…" Leon didn't seem too convinced, but he allowed me to leave anyways. Right as I was exiting through the door, he gently took my arm and spun me around. My eyes immediately met his, and I felt my knees beginning to weaken just as they always did whenever he stared deep into my eyes.

"Be careful. You're really sick."

I permitted myself a small smile, and nodded at my brunette friend before leaving. As endearing as his fretting over me was, he really should learn to worry about his self as well.

Earlier, I had noticed that he didn't seem to be all that healthy either. He looked skinnier-- but in a sickly, I-lost-this-much-weight-in-a-short-period-of-time way-- and his skin seemed paler (though, it could have been the lighting, or maybe I was even imagining it), but-- worst of all-- his eyes didn't seem quite as alive as they had used to.

Before, no matter what sort of stoic façade he put up, his eyes would give every little thing away. Behind those beautiful, stone gray eyes lie a million emotions, simply begging to be brought out. It was almost like he wanted someone to tell him he was lying-- to ask for the truth-- but, at the same time, he was afraid that would happen as well. But now, they weren't quite alive-- broken, one could say.

I frowned to myself. What exactly was going on with him? Seeing him like that, it scared me immensely. If you didn't know him well enough, or if you weren't extremely observant, it was an unnoticeable difference. No doubt that at school the only difference they had noticed was his tardiness (I wasn't lying when I said it was unusual).

Before I knew it, I reached my house. With a sigh, I stepped in, taking off my shoes. I sat down on the living room couch.

Unsurprisingly, Roxas was the only person home. Father usually stayed out past one getting drunk, before coming home with some girl he'd picked up for the night. I often wondered how someone like him had gotten Mom.

Vaguely, I recalled my mother. She was an amazing person. She was always smiling, and when you were with her you felt like you had the world. She was sweet and kind. The ideal mother.

"Cloud!" My younger brother yelled at me from-- I guess-- the dining room.

"Yeah?" I yelled back, not bothering to move from my seat on the couch.

"Come here!" He sounded sort of panicked, so I got up, briskly walking to the dining room. Okay, not in here… I checked the kitchen, and there he was.

"What is it?"

"Father just called. We're moving."

"What? Why? When?"

"I don't know why… He just said that we were moving… A week from today."

"Fuck!"

I ran a hand through my hair, urging myself to not get violent. I had the sudden need to punch something, and I had to repress it due to the fact that the nearest object was my brother. I let out a sigh and dropped my hand to my side.

"I'm going for a walk, okay?" I whispered quietly. Roxas nodded at me and sat down at the table. "I might be gone for a while, so you can call Axel over."

"Okay. Father won't be home tonight, he said, so don't worry about coming back." He probably knew I didn't really want to come back, anyways. I left the kitchen with a small wave, grabbed my jacket, and exited the house.

I checked the time on my cell phone. 5:34. Hesitantly, I dialed a number I knew too well. I stopped myself from pressing the call button. What would Leon think if he found out about… him? Why did I care so fucking much, anyways? Leon was just another guy, I told myself. I was lying to myself, and I knew it. Leon was so much more than just a guy. He amazed me.

I cleared the number. I wouldn't go back to him. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing I needed him still. Instead, I dialed Leon's number and without hesitation pressed the call button. I didn't need him anymore. Now that I had found Leon, Sephiroth could finally be just a memory.

* * *

MUWAHAHA! I don't know when I'll elaborate on Cloud and Sephiroth's relationship. I think it's pretty easy to decipher their current relationship, but their past might need a little explaining. It might be explained later, it might not. 

Oh. I'm debating writing a lemon next chapter. I'm not sure-- I sort of think mine suck (a lot)-- but they're fun to write. So, um, look forward to that because I probably will. Uh, and I'll be elaborating on the plot twist (AKA Cloud moving) next chapter, so wish me luck.

GAMBARIMASU!


	5. Motto: more

WOW. This chapter's got nearly 4000 words (it's got like 3948). That's AMAZING; even with school, I still haven't neglected you all!

Allergy information: This chapter DOES CONTAIN (suckily written) citrus. You've been warned. Ingest with caution.

* * *

"Hello?" Leon answered and I immediately smiled in spite of my current circumstances. He just had that effect on me, you know?

"Hey, it's me."

"Cloud? Is something wrong?"

"You could say that…" I mumbled, trying to avoid the situation.

"What happened?"

I remained silent. I wanted to see him when I told him I was moving. I wanted to watch the emotions flit across his face. Not only that, but I knew if I told him I'd cry, and, fuck it all, I was not crying in public all alone.

I heard him release his breath slowly, and listened intently. Hearing him breathe was one of the best things in the world.

"Well, where are you?" He finally asked.

"Uh, about a block from my house."

"Can you come over?"

"Sure."

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"No, it's okay, I'll walk."

"You really shouldn't be out like this. It's cold, and you're sick."

"I'll be fine. Stop worrying."

He sighed, and I knew I had won.

"Okay. Bye, Cloud."

"See you soon."

"Mhm."

I heard the phone click, signaling that he had hung up. I smiled slightly to myself. I got to see Leon again, and that made me unbelievably happy. The circumstances weren't good, but I couldn't find it in me to complain. I guess that I was still sort of in shock and unbelieving the recent events at that time.

I began the short trek to Leon's house, thinking about him the entire time. Shortly, I was there, and I knocked softly on his white door. I bit back a small giggle; his door's a cracker. Okay, so I have officially lost it, but that isn't the point.

It didn't take him long to answer. He'd probably been sitting on the couch, waiting for me. He motioned for me to come in, and I obeyed, slipping my shoes off just inside the door. I didn't take my jacket off; I wasn't making that mistake (again) in his house. It was still freezing.

"What happened?" He immediately asked, gazing at me in concern.

I took a deep breath and averted my eyes to the ground. Slowly, I released it, willing myself to calm down. It wasn't that big of a deal. People moved all the time. Leon had moved, right? If he could do it, I could, too, right?

"I'm moving." I murmured. It sounded more like I was talking to myself than to him, trying to make myself realize the truth. I was trying to convince myself that, yes, I was moving. I didn't believe it.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know." I ran a hand through my blond hair, finally looking up at the man in front of me. "Father called Roxas, told him we were moving in a week."

"A week?!?!"

"Yeah."

I hesitantly rested my head against his chest, reassured and emboldened when he softly wrapped his arms around me. His fingers traced along my back soothingly and I nearly fell asleep like that.

After a while, I pulled back and he looked at me curiously. I couldn't help myself; I leaned up to him and kissed him. I didn't know what to think; all I knew was I wanted him-- more than anything I ever had wanted in my entire life. He returned the kiss, pulling me close to him. I managed to slip off my jacket, tossing it carelessly to the floor.

The kiss quickly became heated and he led me to the couch. I slammed him into the back of the furniture; I was still kissing him deeply. His hands were slowly crawling across my abdomen over my shirt before pushing it up so he could touch my stomach directly.

I broke the kiss for air. His hands traveled upwards and ran over my chest. He gently tweaked one of my nipples and I let out a quiet whimper. I could feel my growing erection begin to strain against my pants. Straddling his waist, I began to rock our groins together.

I moaned, and then nuzzled my face into his neck, trying to stifle my noises. His erratic breathing was fanning over my hair as I continued to rock my hips into his. I heard him release a breathy moan and I suddenly became determined to draw more of those beautiful noises from him.

Reluctantly, I pulled away long enough for him to remove my shirt.

At that time, nothing else mattered. Leon was the only concrete thing left in the world and with every caress, with every kiss, with every second I spent near him, my affection toward the brunette only grew stronger.

"Leon…" I whispered. My hard-on was straining against my jeans very uncomfortably, and I needed him. Some unknown emotion was running through my veins. This-- what we were doing-- far surpassed lust or want; we simply needed each other, and it somehow worked. "Please."

He gave me a sweet kiss that I desperately leaned into. He then wrapped my legs tighter around him before standing up, holding me closely against him. I attempted to steady my breathing; I could feel our clothed erections brushing against each other and it was all I could do to not press him against a wall and have my way with him. That, and I was trying desperately to not distract him any more than I already was.

We finally reached what I assumed was his room. He fumbled with the door for a minute, entered, shut it, fumbled with it some more, and then-- at long last!-- softly placed me on the bed. He took off his shirt, roughly throwing it to a random corner in his bedroom.

"Leon… Did you lock the door?" I half-breathed, half-moaned. He gave me an almost-innocent kiss, then wrapped his warm arms around me.

"Of course… I'm not having this interrupted." He murmured.

He began to attack my neck with his mouth. He bit down softly and a wave of pleasure engulfed me. I whimpered as his hands began to roam, at length coming to rest on my chest. He tweaked my nipples lightly, and I couldn't help but let out a loud moan. He drew away and I let out a quiet groan of disappointment.

"Hey, Cloud… I know this probably isn't the right time to ask, but are you a virgin?"

I shook my head, almost ashamed. "No… Is that-- is that okay?" I was so afraid he would leave me. It had never even occurred to me that he might have asked for any other reason.

"It isn't that; I wasn't sure if you would want me to bottom."

He smirked lightly and crawled over my body.

He kissed me, gently at first, before slowly kissing me harder, rougher. His hands trailed down my chest and stomach to my jeans, managing to unbutton them and push them to the floor.

Gently, he broke away from the kiss and entangled one of his hand's fingers with my own. His other hand brushed over my erection, sending shivers through my body. He nuzzled my neck and I bucked my hips up into his now-cupped hand.

He kissed the mark that he had left on my neck lightly, then he slid my boxers off and to the floor. He grinded his hips into mine and I gasped, holding in a moan. The friction wasn't unpleasant, per se, but I longed to feel his skin on mine.

"You don't have to be so quiet." He whispered into my ear.

"Y-… Your parents."

"They're not home right now." He said, as if it were obvious. "Besides, I like the noises you make." I felt a light blush creep across my cheeks. He chuckled lightly and slowly began stroking my cock. I whimpered, trying to buck my hips up, trying to get more of that delicious friction.

"Leon!"

"Yes, love?" He leaned down, his breath ghosting over my cheek.

"Please…"

"Please what?" He was smirking slightly at me.

"Please, let me feel you!" I didn't even care that he was making me beg. If anything, it felt good to let someone-- no, not just someone; Leon-- have so much control over me.

He kissed me and I could nearly taste the need on his lips.

"Take my clothes off for me?" It was said as a question, but I didn't really have much of a choice (though, I didn't really want or need one); my body acted on autopilot. By the time my brain had comprehended his sentence, I had his pants down to his knees. His boxers followed soon after.

He pulled me up to his lips for another kiss. It was passionate and needy, but I could still feel the gentle affection behind it.

I felt a slick finger enter me, and I gasped, out of surprise rather than pain. I hadn't even noticed when he had reached for the lube.

I wrapped my legs around his waist again. I was painfully aroused at this point, and his erection pressing against mine wasn't helping much, even if it did feel amazing.

Leon added another finger, scissoring them inside me. He quickly found my prostate and began massaging it with his fingers. I moaned loudly, throwing my head back in pleasure. I was so close…

Then Leon removed his fingers. I whimpered, but I hoped that I was about to get his cock pushed deep inside me soon. For once, I wasn't disappointed.

Not too long after he removed his fingers, he thrust inside me. I gasped out, partly in pleasure and partly in pain. It felt like I was being torn apart from the inside (how had I not noticed how big he was?), and yet I couldn't get enough of that bittersweet feeling.

"You okay, love?"

I nodded in reply, panting heavily. He slowly began to move, and I quickly found myself screaming for more. He complied, and it didn't take long for us to reach our peaks. The strange thing was that we hadn't even been going that fast or hard; he had been so gentle with me.

Leon collapsed on top of me; he was obviously exhausted. He threaded our fingers together once more then kissed my cheek.

"I love you, Cloud." He murmured, lying contentedly on my chest.

"Love you, too."

I woke, the morning sun shining cheerfully in the room. I was curled up, lying against a warm, tanned body. Memories of the past night flooded my head and I smiled lightly to myself.

"Good morning." Leon was smiling down at me beautifully. His tan skin was practically glowing in the early sunlight, and his sweet smile made him look even more gorgeous.

"Morning." I leaned up and pressed a short kiss to his lips, returning to my original position with my head lying on his chest. I could hear his heart beating softly.

A white sheet was covering us loosely, and the sun was illuminating the room. Leon's warm skin was pressing against mine, his arms wrapped possessively around me.

I breathed in deeply, treasuring every moment.

"I love you." I said.

"I love you, too."

We lay in comfortable silence for a little bit before Leon broke it.

"You are so beautiful." He commented, his hand stroking my hair.

"I'm not a girl," I mumbled, despite the fact that I found him to be completely gorgeous.

"I know. You're prettier than a girl, anyways."

"Leon…" I blushed. How did he always know what to say, no matter what the situation? Even then, one simple sentence from him could cause me to blush like a love-struck schoolgirl.

He tilted my chin up and kissed me sweetly on the lips, and I melted right then and there.

"Sorry, love," he whispered before kissing the corner of my mouth. I buried my face in his neck. I could lay like that with him forever, and I would never grow tired of it.

I leaned back up, kissed him once more chastely. Every time I saw him I felt my emotional barricade crumble; he didn't even have to say anything or even look at me, because his mere presence was enough. He meant everything to me.

"I love you." I'd never said those three words so often before; in fact, the only person I could remember saying them to was my mother. But when I was with him, the phrase simply came naturally.

He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me deeply. Eagerly, I kissed back. Without breaking our kiss, I repositioned myself so I was straddling his legs. When we finally pulled away, I trailed my way down to his neck, licking and nipping at it. He gasped loudly as I bit down harshly, then he let out a soft moan. I sucked on it lightly, running my tongue over the smooth skin, as I enjoyed the quiet noises he was making. I pulled away and studied my handiwork, running a finger softly over the newly formed mark.

I leaned up and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around me, then suddenly flipped us over so that he was straddling my legs. He rocked his hips into mine and I let out a loud moan at the contact. The sheet had fallen on the floor and the sun kissed our bare bodies.

He reunited our mouths, softly running his tongue over my lips. Fervently, I opened my mouth to him. Our tongues met; as he gently stroked my tongue with his own, I let out a soft moan. He pulled away, and moved, lying in between my legs. On instinct, my legs encircled him.

My hand wandered between us and slowly began to stroke him. He moaned against my neck, bucking into my hand. I regretfully removed said hand, because I wasn't in the most comfortable of positions.

"Leon, lay on your back."

He obeyed almost immediately. I found myself instantly captivated by the drastic rise and fall of his chest. As I firmly wrapped my hand around the base of his erection, I kissed him sloppily. Gently, I pulled away from his tempting lips and lowered my face down to his cock. I started licking at the leaking slit, slowly working my way down his erection without taking it into my mouth.

He bucked his hips desperately.

Slowly, I took in all that I could fit in my mouth and began sucking harshly. My hands took care of the rest by stroking him. I wrapped my tongue around his cock and began bobbing my head.

"C-Cloud! I'm gonna…!"

I pulled away but kept stroking him with my hand.

"It's okay… Cum for me."

I encircled his head with my lips and he instantly came violently in long ribbons, yelling out; I moaned around his cock as I came, as well. How on earth could he make me do that? He didn't even have to touch me; hearing him orgasm was enough to trigger my own. Nonetheless, I remained there, sucking gently until he had completely finished. I swallowed his seed and returned to his arms. He was slowly regaining his breath, his eyes shut.

Soon, he pulled me to him and kissed me passionately. I pulled away for air and he began licking up the small droplets of his cum from my face, where it had escaped my mouth.

He gently kissed me again, wrapping his arms warmly around me. When he pulled back I rested my head on his chest, feeling the light rise and fall caused by his breathing. I listened intently to his heartbeat slowing down.

That was one of the many moments with him I could never forget, no matter what. Even if I lived for a million more years, nothing could make me forget the feelings that I had for him.

I loved him.

I was in love with him.

We lay like that for who knows how long, exchanging childhood memories and anything else that sprang to mind. Before we knew it, it was nearly 6-o-clock.

A rather loud, obnoxious song began playing from seemingly nowhere. Vaguely, I recognized it as my ring tone. I gave Leon an apologetic look before pulling myself off of him and leaning over the bed to find my cell phone.

"Hello?" I answered it without bothering to check the caller ID.

"Father will be home soon. You'd better hurry back." It was Roxas. I thanked the gods silently for giving me such a wonderful little brother. However, my response was a little less pleasant.

"Ugh, now?!?" After all, I had been enjoying some well-deserved time with the only person I truly cared about.

"Yeah, sorry." He paused for a moment. "He says… To bring Leon. He wants to meet him."

The line clicked, signaling that Roxas had hung the phone up. I stared blankly at the floor. Father wanted to meet Leon? What could he want with him?

I hoped that my father wasn't drunk or stoned off his ass. That could be a problem.

I was drawn from my temporary stupor as two arms wrapped around me from behind. I leaned into the comforting warmth immediately, my phone clicking softly as I shut it. I glanced at the time; it was 6:04.

"What's wrong?"

"Mm, I have to go home."

"Should I drive you?"

"Uh, actually… My father says that he wants to meet you."

"Now?"

"Yeah." I reluctantly tore myself from Leon's arms and began locating my clothing. Finding my pants and boxers, I pulled them on. Finding my shirt was proving to be a little more difficult.

"It's downstairs." Leon said. I looked up to him and his fully clothed glory. "Your shirt. I took it off downstairs, remember?"

"Oh yeah…" I smiled lightly to myself at the memory.

He grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers before leading me down to his living room.

Once I was fully clothed, we got in Leon's car. The drive to my house was quiet, and though it wasn't awkward, the silence seemed excruciatingly loud. I wonder if he had felt the same.

When we had finally reached my house, I nervously stood at the steps leading to my porch, waiting for Leon. Why was I so anxious, when he was the one meeting a parent?

Leon took my hand into his and gave me a reassuring kiss on the cheek. I instantly relaxed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. I pulled him into my house, shutting the door behind us.

"Axel?" I was surprised to see him. He was seated in the chair, a blushing Roxas in his lap.

"Hey, Cloud." He nodded at me. I raised an eyebrow at Roxas, who blushed an even deeper shade of red, then I led Leon to the couch. I sat down in the middle, and he sat against the armrest.

I frowned at not being able to feel his warmth, but I refrained from doing anything. I wasn't sure if he wanted our relationship to be public (though it was glaringly obvious that my brother knew).

The next thing I knew, I was pulled into a warm embrace. I felt soft, familiar lips on mine and I kissed back unsurely. The kiss was gently broken.

"I don't like it when you look so sad." Leon whispered into my ear. I shivered at his close proximity, memories from last night sending electricity directly to my groin. For some reason unknown to me, he averted his eyes and quickly pulled away, returning to his earlier position. I scooted closer to him until our thighs were touching, then placed my hand, palm facing upwards, on his leg. He hesitantly put his hand into my own with an apologetic look, and I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile.

Suddenly, Leon kissed me passionately, and I almost lost control-- in front of my little brother, even!(Though, he probably was too "busy" with Axel to notice if Leon and I were to do anything inappropriate.) Breathless, I pulled from the kiss. Leon placed a gentle peck on the corner of my mouth before pulling back. I leant my head on his shoulder and stared at our intertwined fingers; our hands fit together so well.

"I love you," I heard him say. He kissed the top of my head softly.

"I love you, too." I gently squeezed his hand in reply.

I lifted my head lazily to look at my younger brother. "Hey, Rox… Where's our father?"

"Not here yet."

"Oh…" I laid my head back down and snuggled closer to Leon; he was just so comfortable and he smelled so fucking good… Even smelling like sex, his scent was still immensely alluring to me.

A warm arm pulled me even closer (was it even possible at that point?) and I smiled happily. The effects he had on me were amazing. Before I had met him, I hardly smiled; I never opened up to anyone; and my own family hardly knew what I was thinking… Yet, if you were to look at me then, it seemed like I was an entirely different person.

Leon had changed me; that was simply undeniable. Few argued that it was for worse. Rather, most found it blatantly obvious that I had changed for the better, but then again, who really knows?

An hour past, its entirety spent waiting for Father. I secretly enjoyed the fact I was with Leon, although I longed for a little more privacy; my brother may have only been a year younger than me, but I still didn't plan on doing anything intimate with Leon-- or any of my future boyfriends (I was doubting he would be the last)-- in front of him. Ever. End of story.

"I don't think he's coming." Roxas finally announced in his normal, it-figures tone of voice. He squirmed out of Axel's arms, leaving the room with a mumbled "G'night" Looking somewhat hurt, Axel predictably went after him.

I merely crawled into Leon's lap, kissing him gently as I straddled his legs. He gasped as I nibbled his lip, and I took the opportunity to begin plundering his mouth.

He soon pulled away, breathless. My eyes slowly trailed from his soft, tantalizing lips to his perfectly structured jaw line, down his slender neck, and then back up once more. They rested at length upon his own eyes, and I lost myself amidst his shimmering grays.

What was wrong with me? I couldn't answer that question then, and I still can't. Nothing in the world could ever parallel the feeling I got when our eyes met-- the same feeling I had had when he first transferred to my school.

"Cloud, do-- Oh." Roxas had apparently walked in for some reason or another. I quickly moved off of Leon to sit next to him, blushing slightly. I stole a quick glance at my new lover, taking in his disheveled appearance.

"What is it, Roxas?" I mumbled embarrassedly.

"Uh, it can wait until morning." He walked back off to his room, but I kept my eyes fixed on my lap. How could I have forgotten entirely about my brother? I should have known better than to practically molest Leon on the living room couch, but for some reason I hadn't even thought about it.

Sighing, I linked my fingers with Leon's and stood to lead him to my room. As we passed the archway that led to the dining room, I glanced at the clock hung proudly next to a random painting; 7:17. In all honesty, I couldn't think of anything better to do than to curl up alongside Leon and go to sleep.


	6. Les Misérables

Oh my god, I am sooo sorry this took so long to get out to you. About halfway through I was hit with a case of writer's block. Then, you also have the whole being-busy-as-hell thing to deal with. But I worked on this reeeally hard yesterday and today, because I wanted it out by Fall Break. So, enjoy. And I'm sorry if there's typos or anything of the sort, but, like I said, I was in a hurry.

Also, I'd like to apologize for the clichédness if this chapter. And the overly sweet fluff. Also, I know it might seem like there's been a lot of citrus, etc. lately, but it will be the last for a while (you'll see why soon, I'm sure). Oh. And the flow seems off. I might fix it later on, I might not. Depends on how many complaints I get.

**Allergy Information**: Contains citrus, language, mentions of bad stuff (don't want to spoil, sorry), and fluff so sweet your eyes'll rot.

Ooh. I have a song for the first half of this chapter.

_Kiss me too fiercely  
Hold me too tight  
I need help believing  
You're with me tonight  
**"As Long As You're Mine" from the musical Wicked**_

* * *

"Hey, sorry that my father never showed up." 

"It's okay; don't apologize. You should know by now that I like just being with you."

"Yeah, I guess."

I was curled up against his side with my face buried into his neck.

"Hey." Leon's voice was gentle, but still slightly chastising. He tilted my face up to his own. "I love you. Nothing's going to change that, okay?" He pressed his warm lips to my own. "You really should stop doubting yourself, because you're much more amazing than you seem to realize."

I was speechless. What does one say to that, after all?

He kissed me again, and I allowed myself to give into him, just like I'd wanted to do all day.

"I really do love you," he whispered when we pulled apart.

"I love you, too." I could feel his breath fanning across my already burning cheeks.

"Aw, you two are cute." A voice commented coldly. I froze at the familiarity of the tone, whereas Leon was forced to remain clueless.

I managed to pull myself up into a sitting position on the bed, but refused to meet the green eyes I knew towered above me.

"I missed you, Cloud," the voice continued, chilling my blood. Involuntarily, I shivered, and Leon instinctively pulled me closer to him. "How long has it been? A month? And I come to visit you, and I find you with this…"

"Leon is my boyfriend." I finally found my voice, and raised my head to glare defiantly.

"I don't recall telling you that you were allowed to have one."

"You don't control me. If I recall correctly, you were the one who threw me away." I paused, remembering about the aforementioned boyfriend next to me. I leaned over and whispered to him softly, "Leon, could you excuse us for a moment?"

"Are you sure?" At my determined gaze, he nodded. He slipped out of the room and shut the door soundlessly behind him in the process.

I remained seated on the bed, still glaring at the intruder.

"I think," he began, "that I need to remind you of your place."

"You're not better than me, however much you'd like to believe that."

"You can't change the facts, Cloud. Face it; I want you, and I will have you." He leaned close, his mouth next my ear. "And you need me, however much you want to deny it."

I pushed at him, but he only moved of his own accord.

"I'll see you, Cloud."

He turned and left the room. Shakily, I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding and put my head into my hands, fighting the urge to cry. Leon entered the room soon after, and embraced me tightly upon seeing my lack of composition.

"Sh, it's okay love." He pulled my trembling body as close as physically possible, yet I couldn't seem to release the fear that had gripped my body.

If Sephiroth was back, life as I knew it might as well just end.

Vaguely, I remember Leon whispering comforting words to me, but I was more focused on the gentle manner in which he stroked my back.

"You're alright, love. I'm here for you."

"Lee, please, don't leave me." The tremor in my voice coupled with the fear and desperation that had wound their way through my words ashamed me, but I didn't know what to do. I was so afraid, and Leon was the only person who had ever bothered to comfort me since my mother's death.

"I won't. Never." He pressed his lips to my forehead.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

He pulled my face up to his and kissed me warmly. Eagerly, I kissed back, but he pulled away much too soon for my liking.

"Cloud… If you don't mind, who exactly was that man?"

With a groan I buried my face into his neck once more.

"You don't have to say anything if you don't want to--"

"No, it's… It's okay." I drew in a shaky breath and pulled myself off Leon's lap.

"That was Sephiroth. He… Well, we used to, um…"

"He hurt you, didn't he?"

"Um-- no! Well, yes. But-- it wasn't always like that." Leon had me lay down, and our hands intertwined themselves. "We'd been friends for years-- we grew up together-- before we started dating. And, of course, things progressed, and we started having sex. Then, he started changing. I don't know how to describe it, because it's not like he morphed into a different person. Maybe I was the one who changed. I really don't know.

"But our relationship became strained. We wouldn't talk; whenever we met up, it was only sex. I tried to tell him that I didn't want to do something like that--"

"Well, relationships based on sex rarely turn out good."

I took a moment to draw my knees up to my chest.

"Yeah, but that's not exactly it. It's just that… When we fucked, that's all it was; just a fuck. There was no love, and I guess it just tore me apart." I laughed humorlessly. "I always was a hopeless romantic."

"Cloud…" He kissed my hand reassuringly, and I forced myself to continue.

"So I wanted to start our relationship over… But he didn't take it too well. And he-he raped me, then threw me out onto the streets. It became normal for him to rape me every chance he got, whether at school in supply closets and empty classrooms or in deserted alleys. I started skipping school and locking myself up in my room. I wouldn't eat; I thought I didn't deserve to live. I felt so… Dirty, so impure. And it hurt."

--

"**Sephiroth, please, stop this!" Tears ran down my face freely as I tried to pull away from my captor.**

**--**

**"I'm not going to let you forget about me." The emotionless voice and cruel eyes filled my mind, refusing to let me feel anything but pure, unbridled terror. I couldn't forget him, no matter how hard I tried.**

**--**

"**I ****will**** forget you. Just you watch." I said to myself as I downed another shot. I stood, lost my balance, and righted myself before stumbling through the sweaty, suffocating crowd as the blinding, colored lights and pounding music etched themselves into my brain-- or what was left of it, at least. **

**I was handed a pill that did who-knows-what by some shady character that mothers taught their young to veer away from. Deciding to take the risk for a simple night of forgetting, I took it without a second thought and without a glance back. **

**Moments later, the voice and face I had been dreading filled my mind, yelling at me for reasons unknown. I couldn't take it; I collapsed. **

**--**

"Cloud? Cloud! Are you okay?"

I was being shaken as gently as someone could be. My eyes simply refused to focus.

"Babe, are you alright?"

"Lee…" My breathless whimper was enough for him to stop shaking me, instead opting to pull me to his warm chest. I attempted to calm myself in vain. My heart was pounding loudly against my ribcage, and I was pretty sure that my breathing wasn't much better, although I couldn't hear it over my heartbeat.

"It's okay, love…"

"Leon, I'm scared."

"I know; I know… It's okay, just calm down."

"I love you, Leon." I clutched his shirt desperately and pressed my tear-soaked face against his shoulder.

"I love you, too." He tilted my face up and kissed me gently yet deeply, as if to kiss away the fear and doubt that had accumulated in my chest. "Always."

"Promise?"

"I promise." Another kiss punctuated the statement and ended the conversation.

I pushed Leon lightly to lie on the bed. He, naturally, pulled me down with him, so I rested my head on his chest and listened to the comforting, steady heartbeat there.

He kissed the top of my head in the same manner as one would to calm a small child. Somehow, the thought was comforting, and I soon found myself drifting off to sleep.

Who would have known that after nearly two years of therapy, all it took was five minutes to break a person down again?

* * *

When I woke up, Leon's arms were wrapped around me protectively. The sun glared at us through the inefficient shutters and I couldn't help but damn the giant ball of light to the depths of the Underworld. 

I lifted my head to look at my boyfriend, unsurprised to find him already awake and reading a book. He looked over to me and smiled softly.

"Good morning." He said.

"Mm, morning." I yawned and rested my head back on his shoulder, closing my eyes. "What time is it?"

Leon pulled his cell phone from his pocket, and it was at that point I realized that we were both still clothed in jeans and t-shirts, and I felt bad for making him sleep in such uncomfortable clothes.

"It's 10:21."

"You let me sleep that long?"

"Yeah, you needed it. That, and you're so cute when you sleep."

I pouted, then opened my mouth to tell him that I was, in fact, not cute, when he silenced me almost immediately with a kiss.

"I love you," he whispered affectionately. In response I simply gave his cheek an innocent, little kiss before snuggling up to his side.

"Ne, Leon."

"Mm."

"Thanks."

"What for?"

"For… Everything?" I allowed my fingers to find their way to his. "For talking to me, for not giving up on me, for forgiving me… For loving me. You've been so amazing, even when I don't deserve it."

"That's not true." I looked up into his eyes questioningly. "You're probably the person who deserves that most. I mean, you've been put through hell most of your life, and you've never done anything wrong. Don't you think you deserve to be happy?"

For the second time within a 24-hour period, he had left me utterly speechless.

"I think you do." He added.

Leon kissed me deeply and I became weak. When he pulled away, his thumb gently brushed my cheek.

"That promise I made last night… I want you to know it hasn't changed."

I would have replied, but I was still recovering from the kiss, and my brain couldn't string together two coherent thoughts, so I wasn't about to request my mouth to speak.

Leon kissed me gently before pulling me back to his chest.

"Ne, Lee."

"Mm."

"We don't have much time left together, do we?"

"No, we don't," Leon began. "Only four more days. Do you know where you're moving to?"

"Mm, no; Roxas didn't say..." I sighed. "I really don't know what I'm going to do without you."

"You'll do fine, love."

A soft knock came on the door and I reluctantly separated myself from Leon's warm embrace.

"Yeah?"

Roxas peeked in.

"Father apparently got here late last night, so you might want to get up."

"Okay, thanks, Rox."

I pulled myself up and out of the comforting warmth of the bed, attempting to ignore the sharp pain shooting through my neck. I must have not been doing a very good job at it, because Leon asked me if I was alright.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I replied. "Just a little sore, that's all."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Mm, no, I think I'll just get a shower. That should make me a feel a bit better."

The next thing I knew, I was gathered in two strong arms and being carried to the washroom.

"Leon! Put me down."

"Why?"

"Cause… Um. Just because, okay?"

"Nope, sorry. That's not good enough."

I pouted, still being carried-- bridal-style, mind you-- because my boyfriend decided I wasn't capable of walking to the shower.

Shortly after, I was gently being placed on the edge of the bathtub. I continued to pout, opting to cross my arms for added effect.

"Come on, love, you said you wanted a shower."

"If I can't walk, what makes you think I can undress myself?"

Leon seemed to think for a moment before he smirked down at me.

"Good point. And that must mean you can't bathe yourself either, huh?"

"Maybe." If that was the way he wanted to be, I had no problem with it.

Ever so carefully, he pulled off my shirt. His fingertips brushed lightly over my chest and stomach, sending a shiver down my spine. He then coerced me into standing up, sliding off my jeans and boxers in the process.

As he led me into the tub, I grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him in with me. He sighed jokingly and began stripping, tossing his clothes from the shower to near by my pile.

Once he was rid of all clothing, I pulled his body to mine. His skin was warm, and soft, and I couldn't resist burying my face into his neck.

I heard the faucet turn on briefly, before the showerhead began pouring lukewarm water onto us. I shivered and Leon pulled me closer. Gradually, though, the water turned hot, and he then began running his fingertips up and down my side. I shivered once more, this time not for lack of heat, as his hands began roaming, gently stroking every expanse of skin they could reach.

His lips met mine in what must have been the most loving, gentle kiss I had ever experienced, and I kissed back with just as much adoration. His tongue seeked out my own, running lightly along my bottom lip. Of course, I opened my mouth to him, moaning as his tongue began exploring my mouth, trailing over my roof and purposely avoiding my tongue.

He pulled away and stared into my eyes, brushing a piece of hair away from my face.

"I love you," Leon whispered.

"I love you, too."

I leaned up to meet his lips, my arms encircling his neck. His hands rested on my waist. It seems that we both had realized exactly how little time together we had left. What he didn't know was that my father would most likely not allow me to see him, even before we moved. Naturally, I wasn't about to point this out to him, if only because I'd rather him believe that we had four more days as opposed to maybe two.

Leon picked up the bar of soap and lathered his hands, setting the bar back down once he was finished doing so. Then, his soapy hands began trailing over my body, beginning with my arms and slowly proceeding on to my neck. He gently turned me away from him and began massaging my shoulders and back. I let out a soft sigh of contentment. After a while of massaging, he gently pulled me into his chest, and I rested the back of my head against his shoulder. His hand fluttered across my abdomen lightly, tickling the skin there, and it wasn't until then that I became even vaguely aware of my arousal. Apparently, though, Leon had been aware, because he gave it a squeeze that made my knees weak from pleasure.

Usually being probably the most submissive person in the world, I moaned. At least I was (somewhat) coherent this time, even if it didn't last for much longer.

He missed my neck softly, pressing the length of his body along my back. His hard cock pressed into my lower back in a way that was somehow comforting, and I leaned back into the embrace just enough that he knew I was giving him permission to do whatever the fuck he wanted.

Leon took the permission and pushed me down carefully until I was on my hands and knees. Suddenly, a warm, wet appendage was thrust into me. The shock and pleasure combined were enough to make my arms give out, and I had to bite my lip hard in order to handle the sudden urge to yell out. Still, I couldn't help the mewls and moans that left my throat, muffled as though they may have been. It didn't remain long. Once that damnable tongue (because once it had left, I finally realized that's what it was) was gone, I weakly pushed myself back up, feeling my arms tremble still. Leon began nibbling on the backs of my thighs lightly before he turned me over onto my back.

His tongue (hm, he's very oral, huh?) licked its way up my leg, casually veering left when it came to the curve of my hipbone. He reached my erection and took it into his mouth without any preparation or warning. At the same time, a finger entered me and sought out my prostate; once it found the small bundle of nerves, it softly massaged it. I knew that I was reaching my climax and-- reluctantly-- pushed the cause away. Concerned (I did just push him away while he was trying-- and succeeding-- to pleasure me), he looked up to me for reassurance, and I responded by simply pulling his body flush to mine. I was painfully aware of my harsh breathing, and attempted to right the problem, but my lungs refused to gather oxygen. Leon kissed me and licked my bottom lip for permission. I met his tongue with my own briefly before pulling away.

"I love you, Leon." My words were breathless, but I must once again praise myself for coherency.

"I love you, too." He ran his index finger along my bottom lip.

I kissed Leon and he pulled me into a sitting position and then onto his lap. I bit at his lip and sucked it into my mouth. I ran my tongue along it, only encouraged when a soft moan escaped his mouth. Lightly, so as not to cause any lasting damage, I scraped my fingernails over his chest, earning a gentle gasp when I trailed over his nipples. Instinctively, he pulled me closer, and our erections brushed against each other; this time, we both let out moans.

His tongue pushed into my mouth possessively; gladly, I welcomed it. My arms encircled his neck as he continued plundering my mouth.

Leon eventually pulled away and turned me back over onto my hands and knees. Once he began preparing me, I nearly lost my mind.

When he finally entered me, I really did lose my mind.

* * *

Leon and I stood outside my house-- my ex-house-- as we watched the movers load my family's belongings into the truck. 

We had spent the past four days together; much to my surprise, Father had not pressed the issue of my boyfriend, and almost encouraged our spending time together.

"Cloud! Roxas! We're leaving." Damn, Father could be loud. I thought my eardrums had just burst. No, really.

I turned to Leon reluctantly; time couldn't go slow enough. He pulled me closer and began whispering into my ear.

"Cloud, before you go… I think you should see other people." What nonsense was he speaking?

"What are you talking about? I thought we had agreed that my moving wouldn't change anything."

"And it won't. It isn't. I… This was bound to happen, anyways, with or without you moving." He sounded unsure despite his persuading words. "I'm not good enough for you. Surely you've noticed this."

"Lee, wh-"

"Sh, don't. For me?"

"But--"

"Please, Cloud." He pressed our foreheads together. He looked on the verge of tears. I couldn't stand seeing him like that, so I closed my eyes; it also helped me to gather my thoughts and emotions.

"So this is where our story ends?" I whispered softly. I slowly opened my eyes to stare into the beautiful metal-gray ones in front of me.

"It is." His voice was firm and decisive. This really was the end. A familiar pain began filling my chest, slowly spreading to the rest of my body.

I wrapped my arms around the tanned body I knew so well and rested my head under his chin. Leon tensed and then willed himself to relax.

"Why are endings so much better in movies?"

My new ex-boyfriend remained quiet. I sighed. The pain still hadn't gone away. Damn it, why was Leon so difficult?

"Hey. Cloud. Your father and brother are waiting."

"Fuck them." I was agonizingly aware of the tears now freely falling. I buried my face into his chest.

He tilted my chin up to his and kissed me. Desperately, I kissed back, nearly causing him to lose his balance with my sudden enthusiasm.

"Don't cry. In a month, you'll wonder why I ever affected you at all. Trust me." He brushed away the tears. "Go on." He turned me around and pushed me toward my car. Father and Roxas were waiting impatiently inside it.

"But Leon--"

"Good-bye, Cloud."

I turned to yell at him, to tell him not to say that. But he was already walking away.

Father honked at me and told me to get my ass in the car. Furiously wiping the tears still falling down my cheeks, I climbed into the back of our car (Roxas was in the front seat).

I did the best I could to attempt to ignore the heartache I still felt.

* * *

Aww. Poor Cloudie. 

So yeah.

Sorry for making Seph a rapist. I love the guy, really. But I couldn't help it. It was too good an offer to pass up.

Oh. And in case anyone wanted to know, the "bad stuff" from the warning was "rape, abuse, and drugs".

Edit: It has been unanimously decided by Avian, Glenn, (my two muses) and I that the next chapter will be the last. There WILL BE A SEQUEL, if only for the fact I can't leave the two hot bishies miserable. This one's went by quickly... The release of the next chapter will be determined by amount of reviews. Thank you!


	7. Kowareta: to break

This is a long one. Also, I have to apologize for the ending... It's so-- well, you'll find out when you get there.

* * *

Radiant Garden. That's what my new town is called. It's been two months since I moved here, and Winter Break is almost upon us; there's only one more week of the first semester left, in fact.

I sat at a long, rectangular table in the cafeteria with my new group of friends: Aerith, Yuffie, Zack, and Vincent, who were in my year (junior); and Riku, Sora, Demyx, Zexion, and Marluxia, who were in the same year as Roxas (sophomore).

Aerith was a pretty, green-eyed, brunette girl who always wore pink. She was probably the nicest person in existence. Aerith was kind and mellow, but often shied away from people she didn't know well. In contrast, Yuffie, who happened to be her best friend, was excitable and on a constant sugar high. She had short black hair and always told people that she was "the Great Ninja Yuffie".

Zack had unruly black hair. He was probably the most social out of all of us upperclassmen. Zack was also very loud, especially when compared to Vincent, the last of the upperclassmen group. Vincent was one of those creepy vampire kids you tried to avoid. He had long, straight black hair and ivory skin, and he always wore red and black.

The underclassmen weren't any less diverse. Riku was a moody, angsty pretty boy whose best friend was loud, outgoing and awkward. His silver hair came past his shoulders and nearly covered his aquamarine eyes. Needless to say, the boy was fucking gorgeous, but always got picked on for associating with our group. Also, he was on the swim team and the track team, and a nearly perfect student. The last person who made fun of him nearly had to be sent to the hospital, because our group is oddly protective of him. He and I had grown rather close recently, and he was someone I felt oddly comfortable around.

Sora, Riku's best friend, had brown hair that defied gravity in the same manner mine did, but he was much more hyper. He was almost comparable to Yuffie, especially because the two had a platonic bond. Sora's appearance reminded me a lot of my own brother, in actuality. It's a wonder the two aren't twins. Sora was the main reason I even knew most of the group, because he had introduced us all.

Demyx was a blond, water-obsessed musician whose boyfriend, Zexion, was the most emotionless person I ever met (he was worse than Vincent!). Marluxia fit right into our motley group with his pink hair and feminine tendencies. The poor kid would get beat up regularly if it weren't for his unusual skills in martial arts.

"Oh, right! Riku, what were you and Sora talking about earlier?" Yuffie asked.

"What, in third?" Yuffie and Riku had third together; it was an elective period. Yuffie nodded. "Just that Sora has a girlfriend." Riku smirked. I teased him lightly about how ladies shouldn't smirk and received a half-hearted punch as the other conversation continued.

"Really? Have you guys had sex yet?" Of course, that was Yuffie. She lacked tact severely. Aerith reprimanded her as the boy in question turned red enough to become a Christmas light (I'm guessing the answer must have been "yes").

Riku reminded me a lot of Leon at times. They both had the same mannerisms, I suppose. They also had similar facial expressions.

I missed Leon. I missed him a lot. He hadn't called since I move to Radiant Garden, and he never answered or returned any of my calls. I sent him a letter, as well, but he never replied to that, either.

I suppose he truly meant it when he had said that we were over. The idea still brought near-physical pain with it, and I wondered how long it would take before I actually believed it.

"Hey, guys, guess what?" Sora had apparently got over his mortification and decided to make a group announcement. "My brother's moving back here!"

"Really? Squallie's coming back?!?" Guess who.

"Well, it's Leon now, but yes." Wait, what? I'm officially confused. Leon's real name is Squall. But that's the least of surprises. Leon is Sora's brother? Sora is Leon's brother? Holy fuck, they said Leon's moving to Radiant Garden! (And they said "back here". Was this where he used to live?)

"Sora, you never mentioned that you had a brother named Leon," I commented as evenly as I could.

"Cloud, you know Sq--Leon?" Aerith looked at me from across the table.

"He moved to my old town. And I dated him."

There was a long silence.

"Well, this is awkward," Demyx commented. Zexion cleared his throat in agreement.

Zack took it upon himself to explain to me why everyone was acting so strangely. Apparently, Leon had dated most everyone at the table (Riku, Marluxia-- which was a huge shock to everyone--, Vincent, Demyx, and Zexion), as well as most of the gay guys and-- at the point where he thought he was straight-- a handful of girls at the school. Needless to say, this was a bit-- okay, I admit it, a lot-- of a shock to me, considering he'd never seemed like that type of person to me. Maybe I was just a horrible judge of character, because it hadn't seemed like much of a shock to anyone else at the table.

"So, you must be the guy he talked about then," Aerith commented casually.

"Huh?" I was such a wonderfully literate person.

"He really loves you, Cloud, even still."

"Try convincing him of that," I mumbled. "He refuses to answer my calls, and he doesn't reply to my letters. I was beginning to wonder if he was even still alive!"

"He wants better for you."

"I know, and that's the problem! If he thinks he's not good enough for me, who the hell is?"

Another long, awkward silence ensued.

"Do you love him, Cloud?" This time it was Marluxia who shattered the silence.

"Yes. I do." I met his eyes as he seemed to analyze my reaction. After a while, he nodded as if his discovery was satisfactory and returned to his beverage.

"Ooh! This calls for another of the Great Ninja Yuffie's master plans!"

"Oh, god…" I put my head down on the table. "I'm screwed." Riku patted my back sympathetically.

* * *

"Hey, Ri?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing this weekend?"

"I have a track meet, but nothing other than that."

"Will you come over?"

"I suppose. Just one thing, though... Why are you so happy?"

"Am I not allowed to be happy?"

"Well, of course I want you to be happy-- I'm your friend, right?-- but you've just been... I guess we all thought you'd be depressed with Squa-- Leon moving back."

I have to admit. Riku was right about what he had said earlier. I was abnormally happy. Mainly because **LEON WAS GOING TO BE GOING TO THE SAME SCHOOL AS ME IN A WEEK**.

You see, Sora had agreed to keep us informed on his older brother. From what I had learned, their parents were divorced, and Leon lived with their mother and Sora with their father. Somehow, Sora had persuaded his mother and brother into moving back to Radiant Garden so he could see the two of them more often.

Still, I shouldn't have been this happy, because I was supposed to be loathing Leon with every fiber of my being as I had been doing. (Okay, so I hadn't been loathing him; I'd been loathing his shitty decisions.) However, Leon had called me a couple of days ago and apologized for being such an asshole and avoiding me; he said that he'd been very busy with school, moving, etc, etc, and hadn't had much time for anything other than the necessities. This was good, if only because it meant he was talking to me; also, that would make it a lot easier to convince him to go back out with me.

Riku rolled onto his back. He lay next to me for a while, fiddling with his hands (he tended to do that when bored).

"Cloud, I'm bored."

"I noticed."

"…"

"…"

"I'm still bored."

"Okay, fine then. Let's watch Titanic."

"Why would we do that?" He raised an eyebrow.

"We can laugh at them when they crash into the iceberg."

"Cloud, you just ruined the entire plot!"

"…Come on, you knew that was going to happen."

"Well, what if I didn't?"

"Ri, I think everyone knew that."

"Well, you're no fun."

"Shush. Come on, I want to watch that movie." I got up and stretched, Riku following suit. We made our way to his living room slowly.

"…You have serious issues. And you're gayer than I am."

"Yeah, well. At least I would totally top you."

I could practically feel him roll his eyes. "Don't flatter yourself that I'd even consider sleeping with you."

"That's not what you were saying last night."

"Yeah, in your dreams."

"Damn you and your superior logic," I joked.

Upon reaching the living room, I stopped suddenly; Riku crashed into my back and swore quietly. I turned around and pushed him back into his room.

"What was that about?"

"Your sister and a guy are violating each other on your couch. And I'm not interrupting that. Hetero sex is gross. And women are evil."

"Ooh. Good choice."

"So, what do we do now?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Riku pouted, folding his arms across his chest.

My cell began ringing, and I pulled it out. The display read _Leon_ proudly. I glanced at Riku for permission to answer it and he shrugged before sitting on his bed.

"Hello?"

"Hey, um…" A slight shuffling. "What's up?"

"Mm, I'm at a friend's house. You know Riku, right?" I frowned, recalling that he and the sophomore had been together for a short period of time.

"Yeah. Um, well, since you're busy I'll call you later, I guess?"

"That's fine. Uh, bye."

"Bye."

"I love you." I really hadn't meant to say it; it was a force of habit more than anything.

There was a heavy pause. "I love you, too, Cloud." Then a click signaled the end of the conversation.

… Wow. I hadn't intended to elicit a response, even as habitual as my comment had been.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked. "And stop smiling like that; it's creepy."

I lay back down on his bed, pulling him to lay beside me.

"He said he loves me, Ri."

"That's what we've all been trying to tell you, you know."

"Perhaps, but it's different hearing it from Leon."

"Whatever." Riku yawned. "I'm tired."

"Yeah, me, too."

--line--

The day started off good. I rolled out of bed early-- at five-o-clock, actually--, the thought of seeing Leon at school fueling me. I showered, dressed, shoved a smoothie down my throat, and grabbed my bag. It wasn't until then that I realized it wasn't quite half past six; school didn't start for another hour.

I flopped dejectedly in a chair at the dining table. I marveled at the idea of even having an actual dining table, a place where the entire family actually sat down and ate meals with each other. Roxas and I hadn't had that-- not since Mom…

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. There was no use mourning over the past now.

The soft padding of footsteps announced Roxas's arrival in the dining room. Roxas sat down at the table across from me and promptly put his head down, intent on falling back asleep.

"Rough night last night?" I joked. "You look like you have a hangover."

The only response was a grumble.

"Whoa. Maybe you let Axel pound you into the bed a little too hard last night. On second thought, you weren't limping, so maybe you were keeping him up."

Roxas lifted his head to glare at me sleepily. "Trust me; that is not what happened."

"Oh? Enlighten me."

"We're not speaking."

"What? Why not?"

"He refuses to tell anyone about us." He sighed. "I just want to be able to touch him in public without having to look around and make sure no one's watching." He rested his chin in his hand. "If that's not bad enough, his parents are trying to get him to marry."

"To who?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

"Larxene."

"You're right. I don't believe you."

Larxene was our crazy cousin. Roxas and I usually did our best to avoid her, because, as previously noted, she was one crazy bitch. Of course, our lovely aunt and uncle refuse to believe that their darling daughter could possibly be harboring violent and malicious intent-- cue the sarcasm.

"Very funny." He attempted to glare at me, but only succeeded in looking miserable and pitiful. "Cloud, what do I do?"

Oh, gods. Here came the advice-giving part of the conversation. I hated to give advice.

"Um. Well, if I were you, I'd wait. I mean, I know where you're coming from, but I also understand his perspective. The poor guy's probably scared to death of what his parents are going to do when he finally breaks it to them that he's a queer. I know I was when I came out of the closet." Roxas simply stared. "Wait it out for a little bit. Give him time. Axel loves you; he'll come through." I left off the 'hopefully' on the last sentence, even though we both knew it should have been there. Without it, the unfinished sentence lingered helplessly in midair, and Roxas wasn't comforted at all. I fidgeted slightly. "Um, so, is he going to marry her?"

"I really don't know. Probably, now that we're all but over."

"Hey. Don't say that."

"Please don't start drilling the Secret into my head so early in the morning."

"I wasn't going to, actually. What I was going to say is that it's either over or it isn't, and if Axel hasn't ended it yet, it's because he doesn't want to."

"Yeah, I guess…"

"Hey! I'm giving advice here. At least try to act interested."

"I am. I just think it's hopeless."

"You're hopeless." I pouted and crossed my arms over my chest. "You really should have more faith in Axel."

Roxas grunted.

"Rox, he cares about you. Don't do this to him, okay?" I was met with silence. "At least speak to him."

"Okay," he finally agreed. "I'll talk to him today at school."

"Good; you do that. Do you need a ride?"

"No. Riku and Sora are coming to pick me up."

"I'd better see you and Axel today. If I have to listen to another of Demyx's rants about how Axel's being a douche, I might shoot someone."

"I'll keep that in mind."

It was then 7-o-clock. I gathered my stuff once more, said my good-bye, and left for school.

* * *

Riku, Leon and I were meeting at a café. Somehow, I hadn't managed to see Leon at school at all that day, so it would be my first time seeing him for two months...

There he was. He looked absolutely gorgeous. There was no other was to describe his ethereal beauty. On top of that, he exuded confidence. It was obvious, in my eyes, at least, that he was happy.

Seeing him happy made me want to give up my plans to get him back immediately. So I did. That is, I did until he looked my way. He cast me an unsure smile and a small wave. I thought I saw the same adoration in his eyes I used to find, but I wrote it off to my imagination; he did break up with me, after all. Reassuringly, I gave him a small smile and waved back. I'd never seen him look so relieved. He broke into a genuine smile and motioned me over. Predictably, I obliged.

When I reached him, he hugged me tightly. I went into shock for a good sixty seconds. When he pulled away, I actually almost whimpered. He didn't seem to notice, though, for which I was very grateful.

"I missed you," he said brightly. I mumbled something along the lines of 'yeah, me, too,' I think. I took off my jacket and hung it on the back of my chair.

Riku arrived soon after. He wasted no time in starting an awkward conversation. Fucking sadist.

"So, Leon, rumor is you're still single."

"Uh, yeah." Leon looked down subtly. "I just haven't found anyone else I liked recently."

"That's never stopped you before."

"Well, it wasn't until recently I decided I wanted more, I guess."

"…Are you saying you're longing for an actual relationship?"

Leon glared at Riku. "Yes, I am. Some of us get tired of meaningless sex after a while."

"Maybe some of us, but not you."

"Yeah, well," Leon sighed, "Things change." He looked to me. "Cloud, can you go get me some coffee?" I nodded and left to order.

"Riku, I've gone two months without any sort of sexual contact." Apparently, they didn't realize I was still within hearing range.

"Damn. Is it Lent or something?"

"I'm atheist and you know it." Leon sighed. "I just… I've hardly been able to even lust for anyone recently. I don't know what to do."

"Leon, if you love Cloud so much, why not just take him back?" Riku sounded exasperated.

I ordered Leon's coffee.

"Because I'm not going to ruin his life by being selfish, so let the subject go."

"But you're not--"

"Let the subject go." He said slowly but harshly.

An employee gave me the cup. I tipped him, and then returned to the table with an awkward smile. I handed Leon his coffee, earning a grateful smile, and sat down.

"Um-- Lee?"

"Yes?"

"Er, never mind; sorry." I wanted to tell him to stop being self-conscious-- that there was nothing in the world I wanted more than to be with him again-- but the words caught in my throat.

"Are you okay?" Riku asked.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm... Going to go for a walk."

Without waiting for a reply, I put my jacket back on and left the small café. I had made it about halfway down the block before someone started calling after me. I intended to ignore him, but he caught up to me and turned me around to face him.

"Why didn't you stop?" Leon's breath fanned across my face, and his hand was still on my wrist. I didn't say anything, opting for turning my head away from him. "Cloud! I'm talking to you, you know!" I flinched and braced myself for a hit that never came. "Cloud, are you alright?"

Why? Why did I think he was going to hit me? He had never been violent. Maybe it was just my subconscious referring to memories of similar circumstances with others. I hoped so. As to why, I wasn't exactly sure.

"Cloud…" The hand that wasn't still holding my wrist caressed my cheek. "Hey. Look at me." Reluctantly, I turned my head to him, but I kept my eyes downcast. "What's wrong?" There was a slight pause. "Cloud, are you… Are you crying?"

If he hadn't said something, I wouldn't have noticed, but I now felt the tears quickly cooling on my cheeks. I tore my arm from him and began to walk back towards the café-- back to Riku, because I knew he would get Leon to leave me be-- but an arm blocked my way.

"Dammit, Leon! Why won't you leave me alone?"

"Sh, come here." His arm pulled me closer, and I soon found myself held against his chest, with my arms pinned between us.

"Let me go," I said halfheartedly.

"We both know you don't mean that." His voice was just above a whisper. I clenched my hands in his shirt and tucked my head under his chin.

"I hate you," I murmured weakly.

One of his hands ran through my hair and I sighed softly. The hand trailed down my spine, coming to rest on my hip-- did I whimper?-- as the other one rose to tilt my head up towards his. His lips softly trailed along the tear streaks on my face; my eyes closed on instinct. The next thing I knew, his lips had met mine and my knees were growing weak, and the ache in my chest was swelling.

"Leon…"

"Please, don't cry. I can't stand seeing you cry."

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly. When I pulled back, he smiled slightly.

"We'd better go back to the café or Riku will worry. He's very motherly, really," he commented offhandedly. I nodded, feeling a smile appear on my own face as his fingers linked with mine.

--line--

I slid into the passenger seat of Leon's car. When he found I had walked, he wanted to drive me home and I agreed (Riku had driven himself).

"So, where do you live, again?"

We were stopped at a red light of a rather busy intersection. The next thing I knew, I was flung forward and then to my right. Then I blacked out.

* * *

When I woke up, I was in a hospital bed. It was dark outside, and only a few dim lights in my room were on.

Where was Leon? I went into a sudden panic attack, bolting up and tearing myself from the bed. I looked around, but the other bed in my room was empty. I saw my clothes lying on my nightstand, and quickly changed out of my hospital gown (I always hated them). I practically ran to the front desk, only to find it closed. Great. I ambled back to my room, having nowhere else to go, and lay down to attempt to go back to sleep. I got approximately ten more minutes in, I believe, if any at all.

* * *

The next morning, two doctors came by my room. The did an MRI and asked me weird questions, like what grade I was in and what my brother's middle name was.

When I asked them about Leon, they got really quiet before one of them started to explain (after I yelled at them).

His condition was unstable. He'd already had two relapses. He was in a coma. As soon as they left, I broke down into tears.

I was going to lose him. I was going to lose him, and it would be all my fault because I couldn't do anything.

I was so certain that Leon was going to die.

* * *

The end...

I'M SORRY; DON'T KILL ME!!! I decided I wanted Leon to be injured. It was either this or killing him off, and I didn't have the heart for that, especially after someone reviewed every chapter because she (or was it a he?) wanted a happy ending.

And I'm sorry for the OOC-ness. But Cloud flat-out refused to get back in character, and Leon was just being difficult. And I don't know what the fuck was up with Riku.

On the bright side, I'm writing a sequel! And I already have planned out the first chapter. So yeah. It probably won't be up for a while, but it's coming!

Pleeeeeease, review! It would make me very, very, very happy. Especially since this is the end, and I won't be getting your reviews for a while!


End file.
